


Moment Of Weakness

by BlackVelvet42



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Bad Ensign, Breast Fucking, Come Shot, D/s, Dirty Talk, F/M, Face-Fucking, Fluff and Smut, Older Man/Younger Woman, Porn with Feelings, Power Play, Seduction, Sex Games, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Spanking, big boobs, kinktober2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-02-04 17:57:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18609601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackVelvet42/pseuds/BlackVelvet42
Summary: "His composure only spurred her on. Sooner or later, she would find a way to punch through."





	1. Bad Ensign

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IceCream_Junkie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceCream_Junkie/gifts), [Killermanatee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killermanatee/gifts).



> Curator, I salute you! For creating the delightful concept of Bad Ensign™, for writing the glorious original fic, and then allowing all of us to play with the idea. It has been thoroughly entertaining, both reading the stories and writing my own. And also: kindest thank you for the beta. You, m’lady, are amazing!
> 
> And you two horny… ladies, Killermanatee and IceCream_Junkie, hope you enjoy😉

* * *

 

Half sitting, half leaning on his ready-room desk with a PADD in hand, a faint smile playing at the corner of his mouth, Captain Pike’s expression remained one of gentle amusement despite Tilly’s best efforts. Nothing more than a superior allowing his subordinate a moment of harmless fun.

His composure only spurred her on. Sooner or later, she would find a way to punch through.

He’d called her in to discuss the discrepancies in her latest report, but after her thoughtless remark about hoping the stress of her lapses would add some charming grey to his hair, the meeting had taken quite a different path.

With equal lack of judgement, she had then apologized by repeating the line of an old game played at the academy, stating that maybe she was just a bad ensign -- a bad, bad ... very bad ensign -- and his sudden fit of coughing revealed he knew exactly what kind of game she had unintentionally initiated.

Watching him recover, it occurred to her she might have finally crossed the line.

So far, her teasing comments on and off duty had remained innocent enough, so subtle she wasn’t even sure if he had noticed any double meaning. This was the first time her words left none of her intentions unclear.

But instead of ignoring her statement and dismissing her like she expected, he replied with a playful spark in his eyes, challenging her to go on and do her worst.

And, oh boy, did she ever.

After ten minutes of innuendo growing into full-blown seduction, the room had gotten hotter, the space around then smaller, and the whole experience way more intimate than she had planned.

She wasn’t sure why he hadn’t called red alert already. If he wanted, those two words would end the game in a second.

The flush on his face and the PADD he held over his crotch told her he wasn’t as indifferent as his stoic expression implied, but simultaneously, the increasingly filthy fantasies she poured out were making him squirm in discomfort. 

The only conclusion she could draw was that he secretly enjoyed this reckless indulgence as much as she did, no matter how inappropriate it was for a captain and ensign.

“Don’t you think this game would be more fun with someone closer to your own age, Ensign Tilly?” he asked then, stepping out of the roleplay.

The unladylike snort was out before she could suppress it. Was there a hint of self-consciousness under his cool exterior? Surely he couldn’t be this blind.

“Are you kidding me? Those dimples of yours have filled the dreams of at least half of the crew and I was dead serious about those greys.”

At her last word, something on his face shifted, like her spontaneous confession had pierced deeper than any of her calculated flirting earlier.

Recognizing his moment of weakness, she tilted her head, curled a lock of red hair around her finger, and bit her lip, measuring him from head to toe and up again.

“I can’t think of anyone on board this ship more suitable for this game, Captain.”

She took a step closer to stand between his legs and, in a surge of boldness, placed a hand on his thigh.

For a second, his calm seemed to waver before the captain’s mask was back and he retreated behind his desk, leaving her smirking at his obvious escape.

“That’s enough, Ensign. You made your point,” he said, focused on arranging the few items on the surface.

Like hell she would let him go now.

He hadn’t called red alert. Regardless of his words, the game was still on.

Sliding her fingers along the edge of the desk, she moved as close to him as she could without touching. When she had his full attention again, she gave him a wicked smile from under her long lashes, then slowly unzipped the front of her uniform jacket, revealing her lush cleavage.

“Quite the contrary. I haven’t even started yet, Captain.”

She knew the effect a hint of her full breasts had on most people, but this man looked like his heart had stopped beating. Eyes wide and glued to her chest, he sucked in a breath like a man drowning.

“Well maybe if you’ve been so bad,” he said, steeling his voice with uncharacteristic harshness, “I should bend you over my knees and spank some obedience into you.”

Her mouth dropped open.

No doubt his words were merely an impulse, an attempt to regain control of the situation, but the image he painted in her mind washed through her in a flood of arousal.

His scent and heat and closeness infiltrating her senses, any grasp of discretion was lost to her. Wetting her dry lips, she trailed her finger down his chest and stomach, taking in his solid masculinity.

“That has got to be the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me,” she murmured and, without thinking, leaned in and cupped the bulge straining in his pants.

Later, she would have plenty of time to go back to that moment, relive those minutes, and wonder what in the world had prompted her to make such an outrageous, blatant move disregarding the clear boundaries set by rank and protocol and even plain decency. At the same time, she would know the answer full well.

Never in her life had she been so turned on as right then; caught in the spiral of seduction, her efforts fueled by his restraint, the tension escalating until she was ready to burst.

But the part that would feed her fantasies for years to come was the feel of him against her palm. Thick, long, and rock-hard – only because she had flirted with him. Her eyes fell shut on their own accord, her insides clenching at the thought of the stretch and thrust and release he could offer.

“Red alert, Ensign.”

His choked voice startled her out of the haze and she instantly stepped back, heart pounding and blood rushing wild in her ears. Unable to divert her gaze from his beautiful face, even though she knew she should.

Stripped naked of authority and control, his lust was visible in each glorious detail. Lips parted and eyes drunk with desire, trembling all over, he looked like he was one step away from taking her then and there in his office.

“I’m sorry, Captain, I…” she stuttered and blushed, without a clue what to say next.

“It’s okay. It may be best if you just leave.”

Taking deep breaths, he turned away from her and pressed his palms on the desk as if drawing strength and stability from the cold surface.

She had won, fair and square, but the victory wasn’t sweet like she had hoped.

In the guise of a silly game, she had gone too far, letting go of her inhibitions and dragging into the open a passion that maybe should have been kept hidden, and he had been forced to put an end to it. The fact that he wanted her too didn’t really change anything.

Tomorrow, she would have to make a proper apology, one that would allow both of them to move on with dignity. On the other hand, in the lucidity of morning, their roles and the barriers between them would be firmly in place again. The chance to say whatever she wanted to say to him was right now. 

At the doors, outside the range of the sensors, she paused and glanced at him over her shoulder.

“Just so you know, if you ever do want to show how bad ensigns should be treated, my ass is always waiting for you.”  

It wasn’t until the doors had closed behind her, that she reconsidered her words.

Did she just offer the captain her _ass_?

Someday, she would seriously have to learn to filter her thoughts. Until then, she would keep enjoying the sometimes rather pleasant consequences of her actions. Like this little game with the captain.

Oh, how she hoped he would take her up on her offer. She sure as hell wouldn’t mind receiving some… discipline from him.

 

* * *

 


	2. If I Tell You Mine...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kindest thank you for the beta, Killermanatee.

* * *

  

“Ensign Sylvia Tilly!”

The sharp call lashed across the room before she even realized anyone had entered her quarters, startling her out of the book she had been reading.

She was up on her feet in a second, standing at attention by her desk like the well-trained Starfleet officer she prided herself on being. Heart pounding loud and fast, she tried to keep her focus on the wall and calm herself as Captain Pike moved closer. From his squared shoulders to his clenched jaw and hard eyes piercing into her, everything about him told her she was in trouble. In fact, she’d never seen him so stern, so openly displeased, so ready to take action.

If only she knew what she had done to warrant such a reaction.

“Computer, security lock, authorization code Pike-beta-nine.”

Big, big trouble.

A week had passed since their encounter in his ready room. The next day, as she had promised herself, she had bit back her embarrassment, walked up to him, and apologized. Standing there in front of him, waiting to be reprimanded, her busy mind had plotted several ideas for a suitable punishment – most rather naughty. Cautious not to give her urges the chance to take over again, she had kept a respectable distance, her mouth shut, and her hands where they belonged, tightly by her sides.

To her surprise, the dreaded discussion had been brief and the consequences of her outrageous behavior non-existent. In the light of the morning, they both seemed only eager to move on and pretend nothing noteworthy had happened. Her chatter had been cut short by his lifted hand and strained ‘please’, declaring the case was now closed. Before he had dismissed her, he had merely suggested that in the future, she might want to think twice before speaking.

After that, there had been nothing. Both had gone back to their duties, days and danger following one another like they always did. True, their usual familiar banter had been reduced to zero, but apart from that and her sincere attempt to keep her impulsivity in check, she couldn’t think of anything out of the ordinary, and certainly nothing that would require a confrontation like this.

“Your behavior has been inexcusable, Ensign,” he stated while his gaze swept up and down her frame, evaluating her appearance.

She knew how disorderly she had to look; from her free-flowing curls and an oversized tee to her shorts she wished were a bit longer, and her bare feet with red nail polish, every inch of her screamed disobedience. In her defense, she was off duty. She hadn’t exactly been expecting a visit from the captain.

He circled around her as if proceeding with his inspection, and her mind flicked through the past days, desperate to pinpoint where her latest mistakes might lay. But when he spoke, his breath was warm on the side of her neck.

“You’ve kept the Captain in a state of arousal for a week, Ensign. What do you have to say?”

She couldn’t have been more stunned if he had asked her to marry him.

He’d been thinking of her - lusting? - ever since their little game? So much that he needed to come here and tell her? The thought was too huge to grasp at once. Not that he was alone with those feelings. Every waking minute she had been aware of his presence, her dreams filled with the feverish images she kept repressed during the day.

Too overwhelmed to come up with a proper response, whatever that even was in a situation like this, she found herself babbling again.

“I - what? Oh. Really? Umm… Sorry, not sorry?”

Unsure if she hadn’t somehow misinterpreted his statement after all, she tried to turn and face him to find confirmation, but his roar whipped her right back to where she belonged, under his command.  

“Eyes front, Ensign!”

The harshness was definitely unusual for him. Nevertheless, or precisely because of that, the thrum of his voice rippled through her, sparking a heat low in her belly.

“You said something a week ago, something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about,” he continued in a softer tone. Even though he remained out of sight, she could detect a hesitance in him.

“Yes, Captain?”

“You… you said you’d always be waiting.” He paused, and she swallowed hard. “What did you mean by that?”

As clear as she saw the closed doors before her, she understood this was a watershed. Everything that happened from this point on would depend on her answer.

He was on new grounds as well. The decision to come here must not have been easy for him. Too conscious of his rank, his obligations, his age, yet driven by a hunger that had proven more powerful than he had assumed – and her earlier words that gave him permission.

She considered her reply, then cleared her throat, hoping simple honesty would be enough.

“What I meant, Sir, is that I find you very attractive. I’ve thought so from the moment you came on board this ship cause, well, let’s face it, there’s no way I’m the only one.”

She could practically feel his smile and relaxed a bit. “I know it’s complicated and I have no expectations, but I meant what I said. I don’t regret a single word from last week and I’m very happy if it led you here tonight.”

In the heavy silence that followed, she could hardly breathe.

“And what about the… spanking, Ensign?” he asked quietly.

It took every ounce of her self-control not to lean into his warmth. She wet her lips in nervous anticipation.

“If you judge that a spanking is an appropriate consequence for my lapses, I will gladly accept whatever you have to offer.”

This time his question was muttered just below her ear and she swayed towards him, knees weak.

“And tell me, would you enjoy it?”

The mere thought sent a wave of desire to her core, turning her voice into nothing more than a whisper.

“Yes. Oh, yes.”

Afraid that one wrong move would shatter the magic, she held still and waited. The next step had to come from him. The seconds passing felt longer than she could bear, but finally, his hand came to rest on her hip, breaking the barrier of touch, claiming her as his.

“Lower your pants, Ensign, and bend over.”

Her heart jumped, her mouth went dry, disbelief blurring her thoughts. What had started as an impulse and a silly game was transforming into reality, pulling her most secret fantasies into existence. And still, looking at him while she undressed was out of the question.

Her seduction scene the week before had taken place under quite different circumstances. Within the distinct boundaries and roles defined by a game, every dirty innuendo and shameless act had, in the end, been harmless and safe.

This was something else entirely.

Real. Raw. Dangerous. In more ways than one. Because even though she trusted him not to intentionally harm her, there were no other rules than those they agreed on and she wasn’t all that sure where they would stand when all was said and done. And she was grateful, so grateful, for his hand staying on her back while she undressed, confirming and reassuring that she was not alone.

She leaned forward and lowered herself on the desk, taking comfort in the cool surface. His breathing had deepened, but his touch still lingered, the uncertainty of what would happen bringing a steady tremble to her muscles.

Ever so slowly, his caress trailed over her ass and up the side, tracing the curves of her hip and waist, as if he was mapping out his territory, estimating his possession.

“You’re so beautiful, Tilly,” came his voice from somewhere above her, thick with emotion. “Please give me some advice. I’ve never done this before.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. Just when she thought she couldn’t possibly get any more turned on. His first time? She, as his teacher? She managed a nod.

He brushed her tresses aside and bent down to kiss her neck while sliding a hand beneath her panties and dipping a finger between her wet folds. She moaned softly under his touch, searching for coherence in the whirl of delight.

“All you really have to know is, I need it rough. I like gentleness too, as much as the next girl, but if you’re going to spank me, do it like you mean it. Don’t save your strength and do not stop until I beg you to.”

Focused on his fingers working wonders on her clit, her instructions came out disjointed and breathless, and she could barely hear him murmur into her hair.

“Okay, I can do that. But I want you to promise to tell me if it’s too much. I have no idea where your limits are, and I need to know if I cross them.”

“Yes, I promise.”

With that, his warm lips and talented fingers and all his momentary uncertainty were gone – as well as his tenderness. A firm grip at the nape of her neck pressed her down on the surface and a single tug ripped off her panties, the coarse treatment serving as an appetizer of what was to come.

All senses on full alert, blood rushing in her ears, she shivered at the steel in his voice.

“Ensign Tilly. _Bad_ Ensign Tilly. You will take this punishment and thank me for it. And when I’m finished, I will fuck you on this desk, harder than you’ve ever been fucked.”

The first strike came so fast she wasn’t prepared, the pain shooting through her body and consciousness like lightning. Her cry echoed across the room and she clutched the edges of the desk for support, eyes already watering.

Dear lord, he wasn’t toying with her.

The second came right after the first, only stronger, making her toes curl into the carpet, and after the fifth, she was lost to the flames.

Surrendering to the blaze he controlled, she vaguely acknowledged how he alternated between her cheeks and upper thighs, ensuring none of her delicate skin was left without attention, not even her bare sex. But although each sharp slap drew another choked cry from her throat and a shudder from her weakening body, her mind was flying.

Sometimes the hits came in quick succession, other times he made her wait, not sure when and how hard the next would be delivered. But if the delay became too much to bear, all she had to whisper was a faint ‘please’ or ‘more’ and he would continue.

Until eventually, one pause stretched on, both panting heavily. Her head void of any thoughts or needs outside the present, she was content in the crimson pain calming into a pleasant throbbing that matched the beat of her heart and the ache between her thighs.

With a dreamy smile, she murmured her ‘thank you’ and for a moment neither spoke.

Lying melted, boneless on the desk, she let her lids drift shut at the sensation of his hand beginning a journey over her body again. Carefully avoiding contact with her bruised behind, he slid to stroke her clit with a tenderness in complete contrast to the earlier onslaught.

She parted her legs to give him better access and hummed her satisfaction.

A finger pressed into her, then another, the languid pushes intensifying with her moans. She could feel her arousal dripping down her thighs, his hand covered in her slickness as well, but couldn’t bring herself to care how vividly that detail revealed her desire.

With a sound almost like a sob, he stopped.

“I… I need to be inside you.”

Silly man. All he ever had to do was simply ask.

But when she got up and turned to him, wondering whether he would take her fast or slow and if his size would gift her that delicious, almost painful stretch she loved, he only cupped her face, eyes wide in awe, making her blush under his intense stare.

“Do you have any idea how amazing you are, Tilly?”

In the sweetest mix of lust and restraint, he pressed his mouth to hers, caressing her with hungry lips and impatient fingers, inhaling her like she was the air he couldn’t live without.

Finally able to touch him, she let her hands roam over his broad shoulders and strong arms and gorgeous salt and pepper hair she’d been itching to sink into, then moved to open his pants.

Curling her fingers around his erection and stroking the thick, velvety length, he tensed and sucked in a breath.

“Please, Tilly, say yes. I need to hear you say yes.”

A wicked smile on her lips, she leaned back on the desk, hooked her ankles behind him, and drew him between her legs. She guided the tip of him up and down her folds, teasing him, coating his length with her moisture, and let out an unabashed, delighted purr.

“Yes, Captain. I would very much like you to fuck me now.”

His brow furrowed briefly at hearing his rank, but she would have none of it. Taking a firm hold of his buttocks, she pulled him to her, and as his cock slid inside her in one long, magnificent motion, she gasped at the stretch, the fullness more remarkable than she remembered.

The low growl from his throat was primal, the look on his face wild, yet he didn’t move.

“Let’s not worry about tomorrow,” she pleaded. “Even bad ensigns and good captains need to have fun sometimes.”

Deciding that he could benefit from more encouragement, she wrapped her legs around him, locking their bodies together, then lifted her shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor.

Yup. He never could hide his interest in her biggest assets.

Frankly, he looked paralyzed, unable to breathe, only stared at her chest. Just to see him truly lose it, she cupped her breasts through the bra, squeezed them lightly, and watched the storm clouds of passion darken his face. Then she released the clasp in the front, pinched her nipples and bit her bottom lip while glancing at him from under her lashes.

“If you would be so kind, Captain.”

Her voice seemed to snap him out of the stupor, the sight of her playing with herself freeing him from the invisible chains that had held him back.

Maybe his hands replacing hers on her breasts weren’t very gentle, or his mouth crushing to hers the most considerate, but his overt enthusiasm compensated for his lack of finesse.

The first thrust made him whisper her name like a prayer. Another push deep and he cursed, the colorful selection announcing that he was done waiting and that she had better hold on, because she was going to get the ride of a lifetime.

One hand threading in her hair, the other grabbing her still sore ass, he slammed into her like a man possessed. His frenzy poured over her, flooded her senses, and she gripped his shoulders feeling the avalanche of her climax approaching.

Fixated on his eyes, hoping nothing more than to share the crest of their mad heat with him, she had time for one more broken ‘please’, before her orgasm swept away space and time, the built-up tension shattering into brilliance and light.

Arching up from the surface and against his solid chest, she cried out her ecstasy, pulse after glorious pulse holding her in extended bliss. Floating in her high, she felt his last erratic thrusts breaking into incoherent roars and violent shudders at the force of his release.

For the next minutes, the world was filled with frantic throbbing, gradually relenting and finding calm. His erection inside her, her legs around him. His heart pressed to hers.

He could have gotten up but chose to hold her close, careful not to crush her with his weight. Reveling in the feel of his body, sweaty and trembling after giving her his everything, his uniform rough against her bare skin, she would not have moved for the life of her.

Through the haze of afterglow, she noticed his expression and grinned. The poor man looked utterly confused. Like his brain hadn’t quite come back online yet.

Nothing a good second round wouldn’t cure.

 

* * *

 


	3. ...Will You Tell Me Yours?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, dearest Killermanatee!!!
> 
> And sciosophia, thank you so, so much for the beta and the kind words.

* * *

 

Of course, there never came a second round.

Her trembling had barely subsided, the post-orgasm bliss still heavy in her muscles, when his combadge chirped and dragged them back to reality. His head snapped up from the soft cloud of her hair where he had been resting, and for a second he seemed confused, lost between two worlds.

“Captain, there’s some kind of a glitch in our navigation and communications systems we’re not able to locate.”

The call was in no way urgent, yet it shook him out of the haze, guiding him to a clear path which, unfortunately, did not lead him to her bed.

Damn.

The feel of his cock slipping out of her left her with an emptiness and an ache for more, and his warm hands untangling from her tresses, his body lifting away from hers, raised inside her a protest she knew better than to voice. But the look on his face was what troubled her most: conflict tipping over into regret.

Double damn.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.”

He pulled up his pants and tucked in his shirt, trying to regain the appearance of a captain even with sex still written all over him. If her heart wasn’t hurting, she would have smiled.

“Wanna come by after your shift?” she offered, while already knowing his response.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

With a hint of sadness furrowing his brow, he paused and let his gaze sweep over her features in a silent goodbye. He reached out as if to touch her face, then decided otherwise and ran his fingers through his tousled hair instead, trying to smooth the greys back to order.

“We’ll talk… later.”

A lift of his chin, a straightening of his shoulders, and he was gone. Out of her body, out of her quarters, out of her life - if he ever really had been in her life to begin with. Leaving her naked on the desk, her clothes scattered on the floor, and the trail of his seed cooling on her thigh.

Triple damn with a fuck on the side. Not that there was anything she could do.

Turned out the minor fault the Captain was called to evaluate wasn’t minor at all, and the next days were too busy to even think about a private discussion. Rushing from examining the anomaly interfering with their systems to seeking a solution and executing the repairs needed, the heated moments in her quarters were soon a memory and the talk they were meant to have postponed to an undefined future.

The incident was addressed only once.

Next morning, she entered the bridge with a visible stiffness in her moves and sat down at her station slowly, cautious of her sore behind. She didn’t mean to wince and certainly didn’t mean for anyone to notice, yet of all people, he did. Face darkening with worry, he regarded her, but her reassuring, mischievous grin didn’t seem to lessen his concern.

Later, he hurried to the lift after her, and once the doors were sealed, he cleared his throat.

“How are you today, Ensign Tilly?”

Even though his question was kind and sincere, his eyes stayed on the wall in front of him and she was left staring at his profile, puzzled by his formality and distance.

“I’m fine, Captain Pike, thank you for asking.”

She wanted to hit herself. Even if he was acting all weird, there was no reason she should. They had a difficult discussion ahead anyway; why make it harder by gathering all this extra awkwardness?

“I hope you’re not experiencing any… unreasonable discomfort?”

Seriously? Not twenty hours earlier, the man had smacked her bare ass with everything he had, and now he was being all Victorian about it?

She stepped into his view, amused and annoyed in equal measure.

“If you want to ask about my battered butt, you could just go on and say it, you know.”

His eyes darted to her in a rise of sudden panic and a lovely shade of pink crept over his cheeks. For a split second, halting the lift and forcing him to speak felt like a perfectly sound solution, but then the doors opened, allowing two chattering crewmembers to enter. The Captain was back in a flash, his face devoid of any emotion, and she made her exit, rolling her eyes at the ridiculousness of their exchange.

After that encounter, she made sure not to let her ‘discomfort’ show for the time the bruises needed to heal. But the damage was already done.

The shift was subtle, but after a few more days, she had to admit the truth. His attitude towards her had changed, and not for the better. Gone was the light banter that had brightened her days, his confident, relaxed leadership replaced with an unusual reserve and formality, especially when she was involved. His every action seemed to emphasize his commanding role, as if he was constantly reminding himself of his responsibilities, inevitably setting him apart from the crew and into a solitude of necessity.

Was he back to the issues of age and rank again? Didn’t they already solve this?

But as she rewound through their discussions, she had to conclude that so far, they had never managed to have a proper conversation. First, they’d been focused on holding their need in check, and then busy fucking each other senseless in her quarters. The memory brought a dreamy smile to her lips, but she shook it off. They seriously needed to talk, the sooner the better.

There just never seemed to be a good moment. Repeatedly, her approaches were met with a request to reschedule, his cool politeness blocking her initiatives like an impenetrable wall, gradually building her annoyance into a tight knot in her gut, waiting to explode.

In the end, the whole thing fell apart on the bridge during Alpha shift.

The away mission they were preparing was risky, but given her position, her training, and her clearly expressed enthusiasm, she should have been ordered to go.

“Burnham, Nhan… and Nilsson. Get going, stay sharp.”

Out of sheer and utter surprise, her opposition was out before she had time to reconsider its wisdom.

“Captain?”

He turned to her, face blank.

“Yes?”

“Why... I mean, didn’t you…”

The awareness of protocol creeping in, she took a deep breath, straightened her back, and tried again.

“With your permission, Sir, I would like to join the away team.”

She was sure he’d approve. Absolutely sure. It was logical, reasonable, just. But instead, he simply turned his attention to the viewscreen and dismissed her with a single word. 

“Denied.”

The doors closed after the team had left, and the bridge resumed work, but even though she fell quiet at her station, her blood was boiling at the last look he had given her before turning away.

Ashamed. Apologetic. Absolute. Revealing everything she deep down feared yet somehow hoped wasn’t true.

_‘I made the mistake of fucking you, Tilly, and because of that, I’m bound to protect you more than anyone else on this ship. I know it’s not right, I never should have lost my control like that, and I’m so, so sorry, but nothing is going to change this, so don’t even try.’_

He wasn’t only keeping her at a distance; he was sheltering her in some twisted sense of responsibility or guilt. 

That evening, she barely managed to wait until the computer informed her that the Captain was in his quarters, alone. She marched down the corridors, her ponytail swinging from side to side and her goal burning in her veins.

When her first chime went unanswered, she chimed again. And again. And then again, until the doors opened, and she stood face to face with her half-naked captain, a towel hanging low on his hips, his hair and skin dripping wet after his interrupted shower.

“Tilly? What on earth?”

Although he looked sinfully delicious, like one of the naughty posters that decorated the walls of dorm rooms at the Academy, her confusion was short-lived. Poking a finger on his firm chest, letting her fury show in all its glory, she forced him to step back in self-preservation, both knowing full well why she had come.

“How dare you treat me like that!” she shouted, and he took another step back. “If you’re too chicken to come to me and talk about what happened between us, fine, but don’t pour your insecurity on me and sabotage my _career_ because you can’t control your dick or your conscience!”

Up until the point she mentioned her career, he looked like he was about to object. Ready to defend his command decisions, his integrity, his capability to act like any adult; fair and honest, like only duties more urgent had kept him from coming to her. But then that one word sank in and his posture stiffened at recognizing the truth.

“You’re right, this has gone too far. We have to talk. Could you please wait here a moment and calm down a bit?”

If that was his peace offering, it didn’t resonate very well in her ears. Calm down? _Calm down_?!

He turned and walked to his sleeping area, saying he needed to put on some clothes, but to her, it seemed a hell of a lot like escaping, and she followed him, not willing to give him the chance for a respite or her anger the time to settle. And when he came to the side of his bed, on an impulse she pushed him to his back on the covers and mounted him in one swift, determined move.

In a heartbeat, the room charged to the brink of ignition. The sight of him beneath her, eyes wide in shock and helpless desire, his length growing hard against her. A surge of lust shot through her, a pool of arousal gathering at her core.

Seconds stretched as they stared at each other, their heavy breathing filling the space.

“We really suck at talking, don’t we,” she murmured in a voice so low and raspy it was difficult to recognize as her own.

He swallowed hard, attempting to form a meaningful thought.

“Tilly, I’m so sorry. The last thing I want is for you to feel demoted or held down because we… because I…”

“Because you spanked me and fucked me on my desk,” she helped the man complete his sentence. A brilliant blush and another twitch of his cock gave away that the day had had a profound effect on him too.  

He sighed.

“Yes. It was wrong of me to come to your quarters in the first place. I have no idea what good I was thinking that could lead to. But the mistake was mine and you shouldn’t have to suffer the consequences.”

The corner of her mouth quirked up.

“The way I recall, it led to some damn fun times that got interrupted far too soon.”

He tried to get up, but she placed her hands on his chest and pushed him back on the bed.

“What is this about?” she prompted, flooding her tone with compassion. “Tell me. Make me understand, so we can work this out.”

“That’s just it, Tilly…”

“Sylvia. My name is Sylvia. Please.”

He froze. Under her palms, she could feel his heart hammering, his expression torn between duty and personal need. Had she really been so blind to the depth of this conflict, the war waging inside him?

His answer was but a whisper.

“I’m your captain, Sylvia. And you’re so young.”

Despite the graveness of his worries, she was relieved they were now officially laid out in the open, bare and raw, ready to be dealt with. After all, fighting demons was much easier in broad daylight than when they were hiding in the shadows.

“Yes, Chris. On duty, whenever that calls, you are my captain and I will serve you to the best of my ability. That will not change. After our little… adventure, I hope anything in my service hasn’t caused you a reason for disappointment?” she asked, tilting her head in expectation.

“Of course not. The only person who has acted inappropriately was me, today, on the bridge, for not even considering your request. I’m sorry, Sylvia. It won’t happen again.”

She nodded, one case cleared.

“As to this issue of age…” Her hands that had stayed still, calming and reaffirming, now caressed his chest and shoulders, all the way to his wrists, pulled them up to the sides of his head and pinned them down. The heated flash in his blue eyes was brief but unmistakable.

Holding eye contact, she leaned closer. “Age is a number, nothing more. I find you attractive and you find me attractive. Simple as that. I don’t think there’s any law to rule what two willing adults can or cannot do together in private. Don’t you agree?”

Indecision played on his features and he remained silent.

“You are willing, aren’t you? Cause, oh, boy, the things I want to do to you… with you… for you… if only you’d let me.”

She emphasized her message with a slow grind of hips over his hard-on and a suffocated moan left his throat.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” came his voice then, rough with desire and fears without a clear form, his last line of defense threatening to crumble. 

She smiled, understanding, but not ready to give in an inch.

“Did we not have this conversation already? I love you hurting me. Just as much as I love that salt in your hair and your sweet smile telling me you would never, ever deliberately do anything to cause me the wrong kind of pain.” As she spoke, her lips trailed from the side of his neck up to his jawline. “Please stop worrying about this. There will be problems along the way, I’m sure, but age will not be one of them. Besides, I’m not proposing to you. Not yet, anyway. I only want to get rid of these clothes and feel your hands on me.”

The moment he made up his mind was plain to see.

Somewhere around the mention of her proposing and undressing, the clouds of doubt upon him retreated, yielding before a temptation too great to resist any longer, and from behind those clouds appeared a man hungry to move forward. He pulled his hands away from her hold, cupped her face and kissed her, and then with one smooth motion flipped her under him.

She giggled in surprise, savoring his weight settling on her.

“Thank god. I was beginning to think I’d have to show my boobs again to persuade you.”

He raised a brow.

“Sylvia, I swear, you’ll be the end of me.”

His tone was light, but she could sense the words withheld a genuine concern. Nevertheless, his lips pressed to hers, warm and soft, and she welcomed his gentle exploration, hoping he would soon find the certainty and trust needed to let go of his caution. His fingers threaded into her hair like they often seemed to end up doing, and hers made a slow journey down the slope of his back, feeling the ripple of his muscles, until they came to rest on his firm buttocks.

With a low groan, he got up. The towel slid from his hips, exposing his full erection standing strong and ready, and her giggles faded into an admiring sigh.

Towering above her, he peeled off her clothes, throwing each item to the floor and kissing the skin he discovered, until she was left in her black lace bra and panties. His gaze traveled from her hair to her feet and up again, lingering on the parts in between.

“There’s so much I want to do with you too, Sylvia. With you, to you, for you.”

She smiled at his solemnness. 

“Anything particular in mind?” she teased, even though his stare repeatedly returning to her chest made at least one of his interests evident.

Without hurry, he unfastened her bra, the intensity on his face making her hold her breath. He grazed the side of her breast, then cupped a handful and rolled the nipple, his expression one of great concentration, almost worship. Then he leaned forward and drew his tongue around the hardened peak, before capturing it with his mouth.

As if too self-conscious of the act to truly immerse himself in the pleasure, he glanced at her. Hesitant, unsure, revealing a longing, a need he feared to voice. Something he had kept hidden, something too bold, something that would make him vulnerable, perhaps.

She bathed in warmth and joy, inside and out. He was too good to be true. Here she was, lying beneath him happy, naked, and ready for absolutely anything, offering him whatever he craved for, and still he wavered. She took his hand into hers and kissed his palm, the same that had spanked her into ecstasy not two weeks ago.

“Last time you made one of my most cherished fantasies come true. My superior – my sexy, _older_ superior - whom I have lusted after for months, comes into my quarters and takes me on my desk… I’m beyond grateful for that experience. Please, Chris, tell me what you want so we can make that real too.”

Listening to her confession, taking her words as the simple truth they were, the last shields he had held onto, the invisible walls keeping them apart, finally vanished.

He lifted her arms above her head and pinned them down, mimicking what she had done to him earlier, only with a strength and determination far exceeding hers, making her shiver. Once released from the chains of decency and prudence, the dominant role emerged as a second skin, calling for the counterpart in her. His eyes raked over her in shameless, unveiled hunger, the control he had on her already turning her existence into a state of pulsing, aching need.

And when he spoke, there was no hesitation, no blushing, no hiding to protect her or himself from whatever lay ahead tomorrow.

“First, I want to fuck that lovely mouth of yours,” he began, while taking both her wrists into a tight grip and sliding the other hand down to grab her breast. “Then I want to fuck these gorgeous tits I can’t stop dreaming about.”

His fingers moved lower between her thighs, under her panties, and over her soaked core, then pushed inside her in an intoxicating sign of ownership.

“And last, I want to fuck your pussy, long and slow, until you beg me to let you come. And when I finally do, I want to pull out and finish myself all over you.”

_Oh?_

_Oh._

_Holy shit._

 

* * *

 


	4. Bad Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, IceCream_Junkie!!!
> 
> And thank you sciosophia for the beta and encouragement, once again<3

* * *

 

She was every bit the forbidden fruit a woman could be. Young, beautiful, and dripping with the kind of sensuality that could enthrall the strongest of men. Not to mention she was also his subordinate, one of his crew he had sworn to protect.

Yet there he was; on his knees, balancing over her in his bed, leaning on the wall with one hand, the other twined into her hair while he was pushing his cock into her mouth.

Her sweet, hot mouth. Eager to open for him, her tongue darting out to greet him in a slick welcome. Soft, wet lips wrapping around his length, allowing him an easy slide inside, deeper with each push, accommodating every inch of him until he was lost in the rhythm.

They’d agreed on a signal - a tap on his thigh - but those slender fingers he monitored closely only continued their steady travel. Over his hips, around his buttocks, and back to the front, cupping his sack, one digit massaging his perineum.

Beads of sweat had formed on his forehead and his legs were trembling at the well-controlled movements in an unusual position, but the waves of pleasure surging from his groin with every thrust urged him forward, demanding he go on without pause.

He wasn’t supposed to come yet. No, he had so much in store for her, so much he wanted to do now that he had finally gathered the courage.

Hoping to find some means to slow down the spiral of arousal, he glanced outside the window. Streaks of passing stars illuminated the space with their cold light, but instead of soothing him, they mocked him, reminding him of his rank, his duty, his sole purpose on this ship, which was not to fuck the mouth of a young ensign, no matter how divine that mouth or the ensign was.

As if sensing his distraction, she chose that moment to grab his behind and pull him closer, twirling her tongue around his shaft and sucking quick and hard, determined to keep his focus on track.

“Oh, no no no, Tilly, don’t…!”

The temptation to give in was overwhelming, his surrender just beneath those seemingly resolute words. The perfection of her hungry mouth waited right there, offered for his satisfaction. With only a couple of thrusts, he could have climaxed, shooting down her throat spurt after hot spurt, roaring out his ecstasy and watching her swallow every last drop.

Finding the willpower to reverse course was nothing less than a miracle.

With a sudden, forceful jerk, he pulled out of her, panting, shivering, pulsing all over. She wiped the ropes of saliva and precum stringing between them with the back of her hand and gave him a wicked grin.

“Sylvia. Did I not ask you to call me Sylvia?”

Caught in the turmoil of backing away from the brink of orgasm, it took him a few heartbeats to grasp what she meant. Then he burst into breathless, helpless laughter.

“Yes, Sylvia. I’m sorry.”

He brushed a stray curl from her cheek and left his palm lingering on the side of her face. She really was too good for him.

“Chris, concentrate,” she purred and when he didn’t immediately follow her lead back to naughty-land, she squeezed her breasts together, forming an inviting, deep valley of pale cleavage she knew he couldn’t resist.

There was no denying it. He loved her tits. To be exact, he loved every single part of her, but her tits were a craving unlike any he could recall. The only problem was the mountain of guilt shadowing that fancy, guilt that had grown from the day they had met.

How much he wished that the first thing he had noticed about her was her professionalism. Or kindness. Or smile. Or whatever the hell it was decent Starfleet captains were supposed to take note of with their newly assigned crew. Even her hair, which at least was a detail he could have defended because it truly was a wonder, a fountain of fire and a piece of art all on its own. But no. 

Like the ultimate jerk, the first thing that had caught his attention was her snug uniform hugging her full chest.

No sooner had the thought formed than he wanted to smack himself on the head, praying no one had seen the inappropriate drift of his gaze. Just as quickly he had assured himself it was only a lapse, nothing to be concerned about and certainly nothing that would repeat itself. He was a trained Starfleet officer, after all.

Yeah.

If only she hadn’t proven to be so wonderful, so full of life and laughter and all the things that made his heart light, maybe he would have been able to suppress his interest. But the harder he had fought to keep his mind off of her, the more his thoughts wandered back to her.

The day they had played Bad Ensign, the game of seduction from the days at the Academy, had been his undoing.

He could have handled the flirting. Easily. It wasn’t his first game. He could have even dealt with her sweet mention of his grays, a remark that pierced right through his insecurities. But when she went on and unzipped her jacket, exposing the cleavage that had fueled his fantasies for weeks, his weakened defenses broke down, the flood of his lust rushing into the open.

He couldn’t remember much of the minutes that followed. Only the sensation of her hand cupping his dick and the look on her face, eyes widening and a fierce blush rising to her cheeks. With his hard-on throbbing an urgency to sink into her right there on his desk, how he had managed to end the game and send her away with both their dignity intact was still a mystery to him.

The next week had passed in what felt like a disoriented haze. Over and over again, his mind had replayed the moments in his ready room, relishing the details of her intense flirting and creating alternative endings to the scene, and while he was helpless to control his disobedient thoughts, he’d made damn sure he looked indifferent on the outside. Eventually, the pressure within had grown too much to bear and he’d found his steps leading to her quarters, his harsh voice confronting her with lightyears more confidence than he’d felt.

It might have been him bending her over and spanking her, but she was definitely the one running the show, once again. Even when she was lying on her back on the desk, her legs wrapped around him and his dick pulsing inside her, she’d been pulling the strings. Baring her breasts, squeezing and kneading and looking so fucking amazing he could have come just watching her.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew full well what she was doing. Tempting him without mercy, tearing down his defenses simply by showing him what they could be together. And he had fallen, hook, line, and sinker.

He hadn’t done her marvelous curves justice back then. Like a brat in heat, he had grabbed a handful, greedy to feel her softness in a fog of selfishness he later recalled with shame. She deserved better. His only comfort was her obvious enjoyment of everything else he had performed, her climax long and her cries loud.

The third time, he had finally found the patience to properly please and enjoy in equal measure.

Undressing her had been a pure delight, revealing her creamy skin and witnessing her excitement grow. His fingers had trembled when unfastening her bra, and when her breasts unveiled to his view, his arousal had punched him deep and hard. His mouth had watered even before his lips closed around her nipple, his palm full of her round curves and his mind in a heaven soaked with need.

She had asked about his fantasies then and, in the heat of the moment, he had let out his secret. Without any grace whatsoever, he had told her that he wanted to fuck her mouth and her tits, then bury his dick between her legs and end the scene with coming all over her body.

Her expression had been so utterly surprised that for a few horrible seconds he feared he had ruined everything and made a fool of himself in the process. But then a slow understanding had spread across her face, turning her shock into a fever of her own, open to the idea, open to him.

Despite his crude words, their lovemaking had been more tender than rough that night, both deeming it wisest to save this particular fantasy for when they could both fully immerse into the play. And eventually, late into the hours when sleep would have been the more rational choice, they had also started talking. About misunderstanding, about regret, about possibilities and a future uncertain in so many ways.

The times they’d made love after that had grown too many to count, but his hesitance to truly let go with her remained. And if he stopped to examine the reasons, deep down he knew that reserve was rooted in his very being. Regardless of how close they had become, the facts of their situation hadn’t changed.

She was still much younger than him. She was still his subordinate. She was still too good and kind and funny and smart and out of his league, even after she had revealed fantasies of her own about how and where she liked to be touched, and licked, and sucked, and tied down and whipped to burning welts, never pushing him to do more than he was ready for, but waiting patiently for him to trust himself like she already did. 

In the end, he had to admit to himself they were already in a relationship. No matter what he had called their unplanned, secret meetings in the beginning, the gossip had soon swept through the entire ship and, without further drama, everyone considered them a couple. He was the only one with a problem with it; he was the only one holding back. 

And what right did he have to do so? She had been honest with him from the start, had given herself to him fully, without reservation. Was this how he wanted to return her affection? This polite distance even as she snuggled closer to his warmth after evenings that made life on a starship seem like a paradise?

Somewhere beneath this line of thought, his courage had grown, leading to this day.

In the middle of Alpha shift, he had called her into his ready room, told her to stand at attention, and listen closely. He had taken the sternest face he could muster, the one that always seemed to turn her on, and given her orders to report at his quarters at 2000 hours, undress, and wait for him in his bed – with her breasts thoroughly oiled and her mouth ready for him to fuck.

Dear lord, what a sight she had been.

He’d never gotten rid of his uniform that fast. Climbing her body, he’d kissed her thighs, her clit, her belly, and neck before straddling her hips, pinning her wrists, and describing how he would take her.

Thrusting his cock past her lips had been pure bliss, even better when he realized she could take him in all the way, that he couldn’t hurt her with this passion. But in his enthusiasm, he had gone too far, and now the throbbing in his groin didn’t seem to ease at all, only continued demanding release.

“Come here, daddy,” she said and gripped his buttocks to pull him closer.

He winced, his erotic high dissolving.

“Please don’t call me that, Sylvia.”

Her giggle was shamelessly mischievous.

“I’m sorry, but you need to cool down a bit, _Papi_ , or else this will be over way too soon.”

Although she was right, he pursed his lips in disapproval and she laughed even more, eyes shining with desire.

“Please, Chris,” she purred, “Show me what you can do with that big, delicious cock of yours.”

Without waiting, she slid lower and aligned his length to her chest, then pressed her breasts together, enveloping his erection with her oil-slick curves.

He swallowed. How the hell was he going to give her that ride of a lifetime he had bragged about gifting her when he was already close to coming? Maybe if he kept this first time fucking her breasts short and slow, enjoyed the feel for a while and observed her reactions. They could always do this again some other time if she was okay with it.

Great plan.

He leaned on the wall and steadied his position over her, then reached down with one hand to cup her breast. Rubbing his thumb around a rosy nipple, he gave a tentative push. The glide between her breasts was smooth and long, and he moaned at both the sensation and the sight playing under him.

The tip of his cock emerged from her cleavage and paused near her lips, a drop of precum leaking from the head. Seizing the opportunity, she stretched to lick the salty pearl away, keeping eye-contact and humming in delight.

Balls tightening, more blood rushing to his groin, he shook his head to clear his focus. Then he pushed again, with more determination, only to realize that trying to control the arousal peaking with every move was a battle he was doomed to lose.

Repeatedly, he had to stop, hovering at the edge of orgasm but, instead of helping, she only threw more fuel to the fire. Every time he paused, her mouth seemed to find a way to reach him, her pink tongue curling around his swollen glans, teasing it into an even darker shade of purple until he was ready to burst.

Lost in a world narrowed to unbearable pleasure winding tighter regardless of what he did, he was soon picking up speed, plunging into the delicate valley of her gorgeous tits. His senses were filled with the slick sounds of his thrusts, the bright blue of her eyes, and the increasingly filthy encouragement pouring from her lips, telling him how good he felt, that she hoped he’d go harder on her, wishing to feel him come like this, on her chest and face.

Vaguely, he was aware of his moans turning into tortured groans, the sweat of restraint trickling down his neck, but above all that rose the intensifying thrum in his mind, like red lights flashing a warning that he shouldn’t be using her like this, shouldn’t be coming like this, not when she was lying beneath him, pure and sweet, and he hadn’t really given her anything yet, because what kind of a man would do that, not to mention what kind of a captain would do that to -

In sudden horror, he froze, the conflict he had struggled with holding him hostage once again. But while he was burning with lust and guilt, she remained the reflection of confidence, her eyes watching his inner turbulence with gentle understanding. Caring, but unyielding.

How could she be so certain about him, about them? Had she always known where they were headed, ever since he had stepped on the bridge and glanced at her chest, had she seen this moment coming? Was that why the shift from professional to personal had been so effortless for her?

When she next spoke, the words leaving her lips were as perfect as she was, in every way he had come to know her. Soft and sincere, she wished that he would take this pleasure without questioning, that he would allow himself this fulfillment of a fantasy, valuable because it was his. That there would be opportunities to live out other fantasies, hers as well as his.

The sound from his throat was half roar, half cry, the path before him set as she brought his erection to nestle between her breasts again.

Like a beast in heat, he drove into that bliss, once, twice, maybe three times more before his toes curled at the swell of his arousal and he pulled his cock away, gripping it in despair. Groaning, growling without shame, he pumped himself into a blessed release, a hot surge erupting deep from his core and rushing along his pulsing length, shooting over her pale skin in long, obscene strands of cum, marking her stomach and breasts, her cheeks and lips, everything as his.

In the stillness that followed, his gasps for air were accompanied by her warm smile.

“Feel better?” she asked, caressing his trembling thighs.

He only managed a nod, but with his frenzy calming along with the rapid beat of his heart, he found his mind was clearer, the world somehow less complicated.

“Not quite the ride I was expecting, but what an experience. You were amazing, Chris.”

Before, this compliment would have evoked an embarrassed resistance in him. Now, he accepted it as a simple truth, without the burden of guilt or regret. He nodded again, still catching his breath, and pulled back to kneel between her legs.

Eyes sparkling and cheeks flushed, her body spread on the white sheets and her hair fanning over the pillows, she looked like a goddess. The splashes of his cum decorating her skin only enhanced her shine.

She really was his, as he was hers, too.

“Do you want me to clean you up or would you be willing to wait a bit?” He asked, hesitating only a fraction of a second before confessing his reasons. “I like the way you look right now.”

Her smile widened into a grin.

“By all means, enjoy what you’re seeing.”

“I was hoping to give you something to enjoy too.”

He leaned over to her and captured her lips, kissing her long and tender, then looked deep into her eyes.

“I’ll never be able to tell you how lucky I am to have you, Sylvia, but I will do my very best to show you, each and every day.”

Judging by the way she cried out his name at the peak of ecstasy - her fierce passion probably heard at the other end of the ship - the orgasms he gifted her next with his hands and mouth were certainly a good start.

 

* * *

 


End file.
